You have to look in the mirror and like what you see, and then what you see will change” Esther Hicks

How does the above sentence resonate with you? It’s hard to love something that you may not even like, I get that. But think about it. We are like flowers - when you take care of it with love, you speak gently, water them - they grow. How would it be, if you started treating yourself with love - like this flower to let it grow and then bloom? Let’s talk about it..

Learning to love yourself: In the process of practicing self - love, you must take time to get to know you first. It’s like when you meet someone - you get to know their love language, what their dos and don'ts. So, take yourself on a mental date, get interested in you. Most people think they know who they are but when you take time to see beyond what you see you’ll learn you’re so much more than that. Start from this one question:

Do I love myself? If the answer is no - keep asking.

Why do I think this way? How do I feel about loving myself?

Does it feel natural? If not, how it feels? Why it feels this way?

Do you believe you deserve love and appreciation?

You are unique, there is no another person like you which means when finding love towards yourself you must also find that uniqueness within.

How would it be when you loved yourself?

Understanding the concept of self-love: If someone asked you what love is I’m sure you’d have a good idea of it. However, it’s safe to say it propably doesn’t work like it with the concept of self-love.

I remember many years ago during the conversation in the office one of the girls I worked with said out loud that she loves herself. Everyone, including me thought - OMG she is so full of herself. In fact she wasn’t - we didn’t get what she meant. While it may have been years ago, I believe there is still a gap in understanding what self-love really is, as it is often perceived as foolish.

So, what does self-love mean to you? It may seem unimportant, but how can you implement self-love if you don’t know what it means to you? Here is a simple exercise that you can use to help break it down and understand the role self-love plays in your life.

Journaling: This is a great way to record your thoughts and feelings every day, discover where you are right now, and decide where you’d like to be in loving yourself and what behaviour would represent this in your life.
The Wheel of Self-Love: Draw a wheel, divide it into 8 sections, and name each element that is part of your self-love world. Rate them on a scale of 1-10, and then ask yourself why you rated them this way. Reflect by asking questions like:
How would you love it to be? What small step can I implement today to increase my level of satisfaction in this element of my self-love world?
Play with this beautiful discovery! A very important tip: When you identify gaps for improvement, instead of judging yourself, give yourself compassion and appreciation for recognizing them

Life is a mirror and will reflect back to the thinker what he thinks into it.

The power of mirror work: This practice is very uncomfortable yet very powerful so I invite you to practice self-love using mirror. Why do I believe this tool is one of those that make a difference? Because when you look in the mirror you don’t just look at yourself - you look into your soul making connection with yourself. Your eyes hold the truth about you in every moment. When you look in the mirror you also create that special relationship with yourself - that bond that no-one else can give you. Mirror work has so many ways of application and it really makes a difference in embracing that self-love within. I’ll go through few of them in this article that I used.

Learn to check in with our inbox😉: Go to the mirror few times during the day - and simply check in with your own inbox (“before you start replying to others’ emails in the outside world”). What happens when you connect and get interested in how you feel in the moment?

You acknowledge your needs nourishing the relationship between you and you. When you show up for yourself, you show that you care! Remember - you do matter! Your needs are important! Ask what you need and give it to yourself! It could be as simple as a smile or a cup of tea!
You practice acceptance by acknowledging how you feel. In order to give yourself what you need you must accept how you feel in the moment. You simply recognise you for you. All your feelings are valid! And every part of you is important in this process. It’s about creating acceptance for as you are that is a foundation for how you’d love to feel about yourself. It’s about unconditional love that can only happen when you fully accept YOU.

Practicing positive self-talk: Talking to yourself in front of the mirror can sound funny.😊But why to take life so seriously and not have a little fun in the process? What really happens during that self - talk?

You simply use the power of the word (like intention setting) that when deeply connected with your inner self changes your emotional state. Your emotional state impacts your behaviour. So, when you talk lovingly towards you, you start feeling love - when you feel the love your behaviour will represent love towards yourself. So, what would you love to say to yourself to feel loved, appreciated, validated?
When you say those words they don’t just change your emotional state - they change your believe system and they change your reality. When you feel loved in the present moment - and you keep practicing those moments - you become a magnet to more love in your life.
You nourish your inner child when you speak gently to yourself and show understanding—your inner child blooms. Did you know that our inner child is connected to universal power? It’s your emotional state, which is why it’s important to be playful in this process. Kids love playing! They are curious and adventurous, but what’s most beautiful is that they love unconditionally. This is exactly what your inner child wants from you: to be heard, seen, and looked after
Use this simple exercise and get creative with your self-talk. You will realize, after a while, how easy it is to talk gently and lovingly to yourself. Imagine you are planting seeds in your garden—what would you like to see there? Every positive intention you set for yourself waters another flower in this garden. Each positive emotion you feel about yourself allows those flowers to bloom and grow in their beauty

Gratitude: Expressing appreciation for yourself and your journey is essential for motivation and growth. Remember, everything is energy—what you focus on grows. Practicing gratitude connects you with love and has the power to heal, helping you find joy in the present rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.

Consider all you’ve accomplished up until now; instead of trying to forget who you were, embrace it as part of your journey. This can inspire deeper self-love.

Use mirror work to give yourself compliments or journal to acknowledge different parts of yourself. The tip is to feel love and gratitude!

Creating the Right Affirmations: You can either think supportive thoughts about yourself or entertain destructive ones, nourishing ideas that may not be true. Ask yourself: What am I thinking about me? Use mirror work or journaling to identify thoughts that uplift or bring you down.

Understanding your thoughts is crucial; you can’t change what you don’t recognize. Many create vague affirmations that don’t shift their self-perception because they don’t evoke real feelings.

When choosing affirmations, don’t just say, "I am beautiful" or "I am happy." Instead, explore how it feels to be those things. The right affirmations will truly change your energy and behaviour, helping you become a version of yourself that loves you unconditionally.

Self-Love & Setting Boundaries: We often give so much energy to others that we forget to care for ourselves. While it’s beautiful to support others, it becomes harmful when your own cup is empty. Always fill your cup first—you deserve it. Self-love means prioritizing your own needs, like putting on your oxygen mask first on a plane. This creates self-respect and ensures you are heard and seen by yourself.

If you don’t prioritize yourself, no one else will. The relationship you cultivate within directly affects your outer relationships. If you find yourself in difficult situations, reflect on your inner relationship; you’ll discover many answers there.

“Be there for others but never leave yourself behind”

Embracing Imperfection Within: Allowing yourself not to be perfect is very important in the self-love process. The moment I accepted myself for struggling at times was the most freeing experience! Did I actually fail? Probably not, but I perceived it that way. So, you don’t really let go of the actual fact but rather of your perception of it. The stories we create in our minds are usually far from the actual truth

Autocorrection: Many people have the right affirmations but practice them only once or twice a day, running on autopilot the rest of the time and repeating old patterns. Every step counts, so if you’re doing it even once a day, that’s a great start.

Imagine giving yourself self-love and compassion every morning, only to criticize yourself the rest of the day. This happens during any transformation; you’ll try to change but may fall back into old habits. The key is awareness.

When you catch yourself in negative self-talk, that’s a significant win! You now have a CHOICE. Acknowledge and accept your feelings. You can’t change what’s already done, but you can ask yourself how you’d like to think, feel, and act in the future. State it in the present tense: “Now, I choose to acknowledge myself, feel deserving, treat myself with compassion,” etc.

This may sound simple, but it’s about catching those moments when you’re not honoring yourself.

Documenting your WINS: Last but not least! Acknowledge every step you take toward creating self-love, as well as all your other accomplishments (both small and big). Documenting what you’ve achieved is a great way to remind yourself of one simple fact: how amazing you are. When you focus on your wins, you attract more reasons for celebration. Make it a habit to write down one thing you did for yourself as an act of self-love every day